Giving Our Full Attention

I always enjoy hearing tips and tricks from other parents and thinking about which ones would be a good fit for me and my girls. So, I thought I’d share some of my parenting tips with you from time to time.

My tips may be things you've read before, heard before, tried before – but I have found that the best ideas often deserve repeating. Plus, I know I can always use reminders to stay focused on being the kind of parent I strive to be.

Here is something that has served me well since my boys were little, and continues to be one of my most effective parenting tools: giving my full attention.

What does my full attention look like?

§  maintaining eye contact

§  engaging in conversation

§  getting down on my child’s level

§  following my child’s lead

§  giving affection

§  not multitasking

Each day, my goal is for each of my boys to have my full attention at least twice. We might play a game, read together, do an art project, take a walk, do some imaginative play, or cook. During this time, I don’t check e-mail, do chores, write to-do lists, or any other task that might need attending to.

I know that when I give my full attention at various moments throughout the day, my boys play better independently, they whine and argue less, and the general mood of our house is more positive.

How can I tell I haven’t given enough attention? The whining, bickering, and {gasp!} “I’m bored!”s start creeping into our day. This tends to happen on days where I am wrapped-up in my own tasks – and, there are inevitably days that have to be this way. However, I have found that even 15 minutes of focused attention and interaction goes a long way.

Also, as my boys get older, I often need to remind myself that while they can play and create independently, they still enjoy having me play with them. And, I enjoy it too! A little playdough and chocolate milk break is good for this mom’s soul… 

Is this a parenting technique you use? What do your kids like to do when they have your full attention? I’m always thrilled to engage in continued conversation through the ideas, comments, and questions you write. Thanks for sharing!